Sandhugmif is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, all-knowing badger.

Sandhugmif created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sandhugmif, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sandhugmif, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Sandhugmif's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Sandhugmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not take Sandhugmif's name in vain.

3. Hide if four tapirs approach from the north.

4. Never feed oranges to snails while wearing red scarves.

5. Do not chop down trees.