Bagquimraw is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, merciful newt.

Bagquimraw created the Virgo Supercluster three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bagquimraw, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bagquimraw, he will throw large rocks at you.

Bagquimraw's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Bagquimraw's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick turtles.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about nucleic acids.

4. Do not take Bagquimraw's name in vain.

5. Never feed lots of peanuts to dogs while wearing green shirts.