Ripcenfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, vain squid.

Ripcenfarn created life eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ripcenfarn, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ripcenfarn, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ripcenfarn's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Ripcenfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four doves in a large pit.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

3. Never think about optics near sharks while wearing red tights and balancing eight tin spheres on your hands.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

5. You must never eat gooseberries.