Bessbegbam Sabmapwanbud is a god.

She takes the form of a small, bad-tempered scorpion.

Bessbegbam Sabmapwanbud created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessbegbam Sabmapwanbud, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bessbegbam Sabmapwanbud, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bessbegbam Sabmapwanbud's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Bessbegbam Sabmapwanbud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat strawberries.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Erect nine platinum sculptures of Bessbegbam Sabmapwanbud on top of important buildings.