Quatveenflab is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, witless swan.

Quatveenflab created gold three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quatveenflab, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Quatveenflab, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Quatveenflab's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Quatveenflab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not shave your hands.