Janpophen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, fussy wyrm.

Janpophen created the planet Jupiter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janpophen, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Janpophen, she will turn you into a goat.

Janpophen's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Janpophen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist chaos.

2. Never cross rivers at dawn.

3. Never paint your neck violet.

4. Hide if four whales approach from the west.

5. Never speak of balance in the presence of priests.