Geptonkrow is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, emotional hippopotamus.

Geptonkrow created the Milkyway two billion years ago.

If you believe in Geptonkrow, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Geptonkrow, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Geptonkrow's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Geptonkrow's Holy Commandments

1. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Geese are not to be trusted.

4. Always help snakes in need.

5. Never think about archaea.