Hogsancudstan is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, unsympathetic dugong.

Hogsancudstan created the Black Eye Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogsancudstan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hogsancudstan, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Hogsancudstan's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Hogsancudstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. You must pray to Hogsancudstan five times a day.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never look in ponds.