Targbambem is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, resourceful narwhal.

Targbambem created silver nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Targbambem, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Targbambem, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Targbambem's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Targbambem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

4. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

5. Targbambem loves seals, so they must be respected.