Betbembast is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, humorless warg.

Betbembast created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Betbembast, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Betbembast, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Betbembast's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Betbembast's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of geese.

2. You must pray to Betbembast four times a day.

3. Worship no other gods but Betbembast.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.