Veentonhatcapcetgep is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, calm goose.

Veentonhatcapcetgep created the universe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veentonhatcapcetgep, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Veentonhatcapcetgep, he will destroy your home solar system.

Veentonhatcapcetgep's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Veentonhatcapcetgep's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four eagles approach from the east.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never talk about hamsters.