Hit is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, wise swan.

Hit created a strange quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hit, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hit, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Hit's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Hit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near horses while wearing purple rings and balancing three lead spheres on your back.

2. Never write about chlorophyll.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always wear brown.