Fossxuckkop Fotgesslip is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, narcissistic squirrel.

Fossxuckkop Fotgesslip created snails five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fossxuckkop Fotgesslip, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fossxuckkop Fotgesslip, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Fossxuckkop Fotgesslip's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Fossxuckkop Fotgesslip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near snakes while wearing violet shoes and balancing seven gold spheres on your legs.

2. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always obey Fossxuckkop Fotgesslip's priests.

4. Never write about quantum gravity.

5. Never play with disobedient children.