Bapmotrow is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, happy otter.

Bapmotrow created the planet Jupiter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bapmotrow, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bapmotrow, he will ignore you.

Bapmotrow's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Bapmotrow's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven sheep approach from the south.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never feed parsnips to moths while wearing brown shorts.