Yarlarpnartxemweefed is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, all-powerful slug.

Yarlarpnartxemweefed created a down quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarlarpnartxemweefed, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yarlarpnartxemweefed, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Yarlarpnartxemweefed's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Yarlarpnartxemweefed's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from fawn mice, for they are unholy.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never paint your neck green.

5. Do not wear gray clothing.