Lamjatapp is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, calm capybara.

Lamjatapp created light eight million years ago.

If you believe in Lamjatapp, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lamjatapp, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Lamjatapp's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Lamjatapp's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Never talk about spacetime near voles while wearing yellow corsets.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Retreat if four moths approach from the south.