Tailsigcar is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unsympathetic goat.

Tailsigcar created Africa four million years ago.

If you believe in Tailsigcar, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tailsigcar, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tailsigcar's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Tailsigcar's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Tailsigcar in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not hurt shrews.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near turtles while wearing white tights and balancing four silicon spheres on your back.

4. Always look after injured bats.

5. Always stare at clouds.