Mitrotkom is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unsympathetic fish.

Mitrotkom created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Mitrotkom, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mitrotkom, he will destroy your favourite star.

Mitrotkom's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Mitrotkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never go into orange rooms.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.