Mobjenpig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omnipotent jellyfish.

Mobjenpig created a charm quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Mobjenpig, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Mobjenpig, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Mobjenpig's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Mobjenpig's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not dye your hair gray.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not eat oranges.

5. Mobjenpig loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.