Jigfenlunwik is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, boastful hydra.

Jigfenlunwik created the planet Saturn seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jigfenlunwik, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jigfenlunwik, it will destroy your home planet.

Jigfenlunwik's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Jigfenlunwik's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Jigfenlunwik on top of all buildings.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Do not drink alcohol.