Kenbatken is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, pitiless dog.

Kenbatken created the Sunflower Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenbatken, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kenbatken, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Kenbatken's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Kenbatken's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt mice.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always help sick pigs.

5. Do not speak about lentils.