Bastgovpanzig is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, narcissistic rat.

Bastgovpanzig created a photon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastgovpanzig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bastgovpanzig, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bastgovpanzig's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bastgovpanzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Bastgovpanzig's priests.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never write about black holes.