Tipgidkiphiv is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, deceitful skunk.

Tipgidkiphiv created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tipgidkiphiv, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tipgidkiphiv, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tipgidkiphiv's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Tipgidkiphiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Never think about optics near ducks while wearing white hats and balancing five zinc spheres on your feet.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

5. Never look at comets.