Bestbodquill Viddussyik is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, all-knowing weasel.

Bestbodquill Viddussyik created the planet Venus four million years ago.

If you believe in Bestbodquill Viddussyik, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bestbodquill Viddussyik, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bestbodquill Viddussyik's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Bestbodquill Viddussyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near horses while wearing mauve kilts and balancing three carbon spheres on your hands.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never think ill of sick rats.

4. Never wear magenta trousers.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.