Gofrakkad is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, witless goat.

Gofrakkad created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Gofrakkad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gofrakkad, he will ignore you.

Gofrakkad's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Gofrakkad's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Gofrakkad's priests.

2. Never bounce in the presence of squirrels.

3. Never hurt otters.

4. Gofrakkad loves gulls, so they must be respected.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.