Larptailtarp is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, competent monkey.

Larptailtarp created the Tadpole Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larptailtarp, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Larptailtarp, it will send minions to preach to you.

Larptailtarp's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Larptailtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear rings.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near rats while wearing magenta scarves and balancing six platinum spheres on your hands.

5. Do not speak about figs.