Santenstrag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, ill-tempered jaguar.

Santenstrag created humankind six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Santenstrag, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Santenstrag, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Santenstrag's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Santenstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.