Jonortflisnartpas is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, almighty eagle.

Jonortflisnartpas created silver three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonortflisnartpas, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jonortflisnartpas, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Jonortflisnartpas' most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Jonortflisnartpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never hop in the presence of pigs.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.