Omtkimxuc is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, sage scorpion.

Omtkimxuc created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtkimxuc, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Omtkimxuc, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Omtkimxuc's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Omtkimxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Never write about enzymes.

4. Always help pigs.

5. Do not keep seven bats in a large pit.