Figloopquatsomxemnakfad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, boastful grasshopper.

Figloopquatsomxemnakfad created the Black Eye Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Figloopquatsomxemnakfad, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Figloopquatsomxemnakfad, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Figloopquatsomxemnakfad's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Figloopquatsomxemnakfad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat oranges.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Fast once a month.