Labdadcubbarnhot is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, sage giraffe.

Labdadcubbarnhot created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labdadcubbarnhot, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Labdadcubbarnhot, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Labdadcubbarnhot's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Labdadcubbarnhot's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo snails for they are unholy.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near moths while wearing orange shirts and balancing seven tin spheres on your hands.

5. Always treat bats with great respect.