Jiggabfom Jignuttkan is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unselfish lizard.

Jiggabfom Jignuttkan created a quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jiggabfom Jignuttkan, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jiggabfom Jignuttkan, he will torture you forever.

Jiggabfom Jignuttkan's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Jiggabfom Jignuttkan's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never hurt great tits.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never bounce near frogs.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics.