Yimomthub Basswaptom is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, awesome squirrel.

Yimomthub Basswaptom created Asia six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yimomthub Basswaptom, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yimomthub Basswaptom, it will not care at all.

Yimomthub Basswaptom's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Yimomthub Basswaptom's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Yimomthub Basswaptom loves ants, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not hurt snails.