Tarpkemcitdonteenquatdonstip Vedtailben is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, capable crow.

Tarpkemcitdonteenquatdonstip Vedtailben created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpkemcitdonteenquatdonstip Vedtailben, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tarpkemcitdonteenquatdonstip Vedtailben, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tarpkemcitdonteenquatdonstip Vedtailben's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Tarpkemcitdonteenquatdonstip Vedtailben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Tarpkemcitdonteenquatdonstip Vedtailben on top of all buildings.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not chop down trees.