Gofbentarp is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, charitable meerkat.

Gofbentarp created the universe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofbentarp, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gofbentarp, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gofbentarp's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gofbentarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near tapirs while wearing brown dresses and balancing nine titanium spheres on your head.

2. Do not hurt porpoises.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never look at nebulae.