Vinkarpod is a god.

He takes the form of a small, proud dolphin.

Vinkarpod created viruses five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vinkarpod, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vinkarpod, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Vinkarpod's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Vinkarpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear brown rings.

2. Do not hurt doves.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never hurt sheep.