Narmetjab is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, self-assured pig.

Narmetjab created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narmetjab, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Narmetjab, she will curse you with boils.

Narmetjab's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Narmetjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands blue.

2. Always help sick ducks.

3. Never hurt swans.

4. Never mention eagles.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Narmetjab.