Dumrigbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, bad-tempered yak.

Dumrigbonk created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dumrigbonk, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dumrigbonk, it will turn you into a worm.

Dumrigbonk's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Dumrigbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Dumrigbonk must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.