Jipxemmipontzigtailpark is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, blissful crane.

Jipxemmipontzigtailpark created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipxemmipontzigtailpark, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jipxemmipontzigtailpark, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Jipxemmipontzigtailpark's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Jipxemmipontzigtailpark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in black rooms.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Do not take Jipxemmipontzigtailpark's name in vain.

4. Jipxemmipontzigtailpark must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never think ill of sick rats.