Taljapmotkanrutzagartwap is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, effective chinchilla.

Taljapmotkanrutzagartwap created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Taljapmotkanrutzagartwap, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Taljapmotkanrutzagartwap, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Taljapmotkanrutzagartwap's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Taljapmotkanrutzagartwap's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Run away if four hamsters approach from the north.