Faslabpas is a god.

He takes the form of a small, dishonest slug.

Faslabpas created the planet Earth eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Faslabpas, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Faslabpas, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Faslabpas' most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Faslabpas' Holy Commandments

1. Hide from fawn voles for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about ducks.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Always help mice.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Faslabpas.