Flambadflam is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humane meerkat.

Flambadflam created a bottom quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flambadflam, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flambadflam, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Flambadflam's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Flambadflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear brown clothing.

2. Otters are not to be trusted.

3. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never laugh in the presence of dolphins.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.