Tifqueeggutnartfomlap is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, unjust penguin.

Tifqueeggutnartfomlap created the planet Mars three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tifqueeggutnartfomlap, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tifqueeggutnartfomlap, she will be mildly annoyed.

Tifqueeggutnartfomlap's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Tifqueeggutnartfomlap's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Tifqueeggutnartfomlap.

2. Hide from blue hamsters for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics.

4. Never jump near dogs.

5. Pray towards the west.