Wabbodyim is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, contented hydra.

Wabbodyim created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabbodyim, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wabbodyim, it will turn you into a hamster.

Wabbodyim's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Wabbodyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never think about nucleic acids.