Flamgutdim Withamfig Dabnilpon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, ill-tempered hippopotamus.

Flamgutdim Withamfig Dabnilpon created water three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flamgutdim Withamfig Dabnilpon, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flamgutdim Withamfig Dabnilpon, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Flamgutdim Withamfig Dabnilpon's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Flamgutdim Withamfig Dabnilpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. You must pray to Flamgutdim Withamfig Dabnilpon five times a day.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Flamgutdim Withamfig Dabnilpon must be the most important thing in your life.