Bonkshavmon is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, compassionate jackal.

Bonkshavmon created the planet Jupiter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkshavmon, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bonkshavmon, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Bonkshavmon's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Bonkshavmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never write about dark energy.

3. Do not eat cucumbers.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Always help dogs.