Zakyokbam is a god.

It takes the form of a small, weak dryad.

Zakyokbam created a down quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakyokbam, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zakyokbam, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Zakyokbam's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Zakyokbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

4. Never talk about dark energy near otters while wearing violet kilts.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near badgers while wearing yellow hats and balancing nine iron spheres on your hands.