Figquagneg is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, charitable rhinoceros.

Figquagneg created a charm quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figquagneg, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Figquagneg, he will strike you with lightening.

Figquagneg's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Figquagneg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Figquagneg's name in vain.

2. Do not hurt moths.

3. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Figquagneg in the centre of the settlement.

4. Retreat if eight turtles approach from the east.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.