Larghapomt is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, able dolphin.

Larghapomt created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larghapomt, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Larghapomt, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Larghapomt's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Larghapomt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Run away if nine voles approach from the west.

5. Never sprint in holy places.