Nabstanmif is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, stupid spider.

Nabstanmif created the Sunflower Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nabstanmif, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nabstanmif, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nabstanmif's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Nabstanmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never feed lots of lemons to voles while wearing fawn shirts.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Pray towards the west.