Fubtinpom Toffidgigmotbegarmmid is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, grumpy ant.

Fubtinpom Toffidgigmotbegarmmid created silver nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fubtinpom Toffidgigmotbegarmmid, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fubtinpom Toffidgigmotbegarmmid, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Fubtinpom Toffidgigmotbegarmmid's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Fubtinpom Toffidgigmotbegarmmid's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never paint your legs pink.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.